“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
When we talk about intimacy, one sure thing that comes to mind is sex - intimacy is not all about sex! It is building closeness with another person, a kind of mutual relationship that is consciously nurtured and cultivated over time. Without it, a relationship is bound to suffer and possibly collapse. Intimacy can be looked at as being a kind of glue that binds a man and a woman together.
There are different kinds of intimacies – emotional, mental, physical and spiritual. All these are closely related and as couples, we must strive to have a great and sustainable intimacy with our partners.
Apart from sex for married couples, intimacy can be increased by : valuing each other, freeing your mind and respecting each other’s opinion, exploring new places together with or without the kids, giving each other new experiences (don’t always think about the money), praying together and if your spouse doesn’t want to pray with you, pray with the children if you have. Other ways include : encouraging and supporting each other’s dreams and aspirations, forgiving each other willingly, watching movies together, taking casual strolls and openly talking about things, being honest with each other, choosing each other at all times, celebrating each other, not dwelling on each other’s weaknesses, appreciating each other for the little and big things and regularly checking up on each other via phone call, whatsApp, etc,.
One may ask : “what if you do all these yet your spouse does not seem to appreciate them?” Keep on doing them, understand him or her and embrace his or her interests. All these could teach him or her how to be intimate. Be intentional about all you do – you can gradually win him or her over.
Make a strong mark in the heart and on the mind of your spouse that it will be difficult for him or her to abandon you.
A piece of advice to women : Be soft especially in an era where the educated woman has become mentally and financially strong. When not well managed, this can drift a relationship apart. Softness/flexibility is romantic and appealing to every man. It is the woman’s power inside of you. Check your tone when talking and don’t be argumentative. Whatever you wish to communicate, can be done in a softer tone.
Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is (Ephesians 5:17).
A short story with a morale lesson
A certain man was walking on a path. The wind and the sun argued about who could make the man remove his shirt. The wind had the first chance to try. He blew very hard and the harder he blew, the tighter the man clung his shirt to his body. Now it was the turn of the sun. He rose gradually shining as usual, with an increased heat. Around noon, the intensity of the heat was too much for the man and he eventually removed his shirt.
Lesson: patience/gentleness/softness is power.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
When we talk about intimacy, one sure thing that comes to mind is sex - intimacy is not all about sex! It is building closeness with another person, a kind of mutual relationship that is consciously nurtured and cultivated over time. Without it, a relationship is bound to suffer and possibly collapse. Intimacy can be looked at as being a kind of glue that binds a man and a woman together.
There are different kinds of intimacies – emotional, mental, physical and spiritual. All these are closely related and as couples, we must strive to have a great and sustainable intimacy with our partners.
Apart from sex for married couples, intimacy can be increased by : valuing each other, freeing your mind and respecting each other’s opinion, exploring new places together with or without the kids, giving each other new experiences (don’t always think about the money), praying together and if your spouse doesn’t want to pray with you, pray with the children if you have. Other ways include : encouraging and supporting each other’s dreams and aspirations, forgiving each other willingly, watching movies together, taking casual strolls and openly talking about things, being honest with each other, choosing each other at all times, celebrating each other, not dwelling on each other’s weaknesses, appreciating each other for the little and big things and regularly checking up on each other via phone call, whatsApp, etc,.
One may ask : “what if you do all these yet your spouse does not seem to appreciate them?” Keep on doing them, understand him or her and embrace his or her interests. All these could teach him or her how to be intimate. Be intentional about all you do – you can gradually win him or her over.
Make a strong mark in the heart and on the mind of your spouse that it will be difficult for him or her to abandon you.
A piece of advice to women: Be soft especially in an era where the educated woman has become mentally and financially strong. When not well managed, this can drift a relationship apart. Softness/flexibility is romantic and appealing to every man. It is the woman’s power inside of you. Check your tone when talking and don’t be argumentative. Whatever you wish to communicate, can be done in a softer tone.
Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is (Ephesians 5:17).
A short story with a morale lesson
A certain man was walking on a path. The wind and the sun argued about who could make the man remove his shirt. The wind had the first chance to try. He blew very hard and the harder he blew, the tighter the man clung his shirt to his body. Now it was the turn of the sun. He rose gradually shining as usual, with an increased heat. Around noon, the intensity of the heat was too much for the man and he eventually removed his shirt.
Lesson: patience/gentleness/softness is power.